The last few weeks have been a combination of highs and lows that are hard to explain. However I feel like I need to remind myself of the feelings.

A week ago, I met my oncologist to discuss the results of the MRI I did in May. Thankfully, the report shows that there are no new signs of disease and the existing tumors seem stable or reduced. This is truly good news for me and my family because it means I will continue on the current treatment for now. We can finalize our plans for the summer.

My son and family who had been away on holiday in Spain returned from their trip and I got a chance to babysit my little grandson. He is now 5 months old and I just love being with him. The whole family was invited to a wonderful Mexican dinner at my youngest son’s home. It was wonderful spending time together.

In the midst of all this, I sat down one night to a Facebook update about someone very dear to us in the Lung cancer group in Norway. Her situation was not improving despite the new medications she had been put on, and the family was gathered with her at the hospital. That feeling of hopelessness, there was nothing any of us could do to help her. Her medical team had done what they could – within the means the health system provides. It is extremely hard to be part of a medical team, family or caregivers, feeling that helplessness. The next day came the message we all prayed would not come. She passed away in the night.

I remembered being by my mother’s bedside when she was in a hospice during her last days of surviving lung cancer. A priest and family member spoke to dad and us siblings as we stood by her bedside – ‘God works miracles and God hears our prayers but we must remember that death comes to us all. There is no miracle to avoid that.’

It is hard to accept but that is the truth, death comes to us all. We need to accept this truth and live our life, thankful for every morning we wake, every good morning hug or good night kiss, every smile or happy thought and every precious moment we get to spend with those dearest to us.

For myself, I look forward to the summer and some gardening, a few days away with my sons, their partners and my grandson, a few days with our closest friends, and a few days just for my hubby and me. Life is good!

(These photographs are taken in the hospice gardens, Shanti Avedna Sadan , where my mum was during her last days. The nun’s kept a beautiful garden where I would spend a few minutes whenever I needed to get away and think. )